We had tickets to a wine tasting afternoon, and I had already had a serious chat with myself about hangovers, my inability to handle wine these days and the need to get home at a reasonable hour for the babysitters.

But the afternoon was great fun. You were given a wine glass that you kept for the whole time and a catalogue in case you wanted to buy some wine (fat chance!). Around the sides of this large hall there must have been around 25 tables all labelled with different wine producing countries in the world. Each table had around 5 or 6 different wines making about 120 wines to try…and that was before you counted the champagne tables and the port!!!!  (I imagine that those of you who know me well are having a chuckle to yourself right now, thinking you know how this will end, but I was fairly reserved).

The choices were huge. I mean I have trouble choosing what to order at a restaurant or picking a magazine to buy, but 120 wines, what could a girl do?  Trying them all seemed like a reasonable strategy. (I would like to point out that you only get a small sip of each wine so don’t worry)

My difficulty with choices goes back a long way. My mother will tell you stories of me as a child, walking into a sweet shop and being transfixed by the choice of sweets available. She can still see the same look in my eyes these days.

At school I didn’t have a clue what career to chose.  My careers mistress said “Well I think dear that you will just have to go out into the world and try lots of jobs until you find something you like…”  a bit like the wine really….

These days we are given a huge range of choices and options, whether its in the supermarket or online shopping or perhaps deciding on a career. I know that dealing with choices can be even harder if you are a creative person as you can see so many possibilities, opportunities and ideas.  They can swim before you and really send you into overwelm to the point of inaction.

So back to the wine tasting. Well suffice to say that I tasted my fair share…and someones too.  After sampling the 10th white, they started to merge into one, I couldn’t really remember the others or taste much of a difference. After the 6th red, they started to taste the same as well. So much for sampling a wide range to aid decision making!

I really feel that life can be a bit like wine tasting as well – if you try too many things, with all the relative merits and differentnesses (new word!) they can all lose their appeal after a while and merge into one.  I tried a lot of jobs. Some for just a day some for a few months. The maximum time in a regular job has been 2 ¾ years, a tally of which I am very proud.  But now, after realising that jobs, like men and wine, have limited differentnesses, I decided to create my own path.

Perhaps the path will lead to the same place but I’m doing well. I’ve been running my own business, albeit in a variety of forms, for around 7 years now!  I’ve stopped searching for the Holy Grail…the one job that sums it all up or the one hobby that will satisfy me for ever.

So I invite you to taste less options, savour each one for its unique qualities, bearing in mind that there are a limited differences.   Enjoy what you chose.    And next time I will sample a much smaller selection of wine!

Hushing your mind is a funny one…there is rarely hush inside my cranium and I know it’s not practical to try and achieve (I have “learnt” about Mindfulness and have realised that it’s not about achieving quiet for me, but sufficiently ignoring the hustle and bustle that inevitably occurs (Lynne Francis runs Mindfulness and Creativity workshops if you are interested)

But “doing whatever is necessary to achieve and sustain a creative life” gives me rather a few more challenges.  This isn’t going to turn into a rant about how hard it is for a woman to create, especially a mother, but there are many choices that we have to make if we want a creative life.

Firstly, what does “a creative life“ mean. I remember chatting to a comedian and when we first met, he asked what I did and amongst my list of “job roles” I said I am also an artist.  He’s a lovely man, but immediately sneered “a real artist or just someone that paints occasionally”. This hit one of my buttons. I don’t want to be seen as a half hearted painter. Ideally I would immerse myself in creating and making work, surfacing just to eat and pee, but that doesn’t do many people a world of good. I think there is a myth that’s been created: the image of the artist who is isolated, completely focussed on creating, living of scraps (!), a bit mad, but obviously so worthy as they sacrifice other stuff for their art.

I have some evidence of this kind of “doing whatever is necessary” working. I have a very old friend who is a successful writer. He started writing in earnest after leaving university, working on a tome “Decipher” which would become a best seller. During this time he was also writing a film which also became a Hollywood blockbuster.  He was doing all this whilst in his twenties.  He worked at a local off license and wrote. I rarely saw him. Whilst we were all busy socialising, dating, trying different jobs, travelling, having babies… and doing those things you do in your twenties, Stel was writing. Hauled up in his shared flat, dedicated and focussed with a crystal clear vision.  He seemed to be doing whatever was necessary…

I can’t do that. I possibly could have made different choices in my early twenties, dumped my soul mate and been more dedicated to painting but now with a family, and income responsibilities, I genuinely can’t do “whatever is necessary”.  Not now, not after I have set up certain roles and expectations within my household e.g. a certain level of cleanliness (not that bothered personally but my partner and children are!) a certain standard of food provision (not that good, but it’s always down to me to provide) a reasonable level of engagement with my children….support with learning and homework (but I draw the line at spellings which are just so boring) a “job” which requires more than just turning up 18 hours a week and getting paid each month.

So this gives me some further pondering:

-          Who decides what a creative life is? I sit somewhere on a continuum from people who say they are creative, but don’t create. Through people that have a creative hobby or attend a class. Through to my lovely friend Sophie who is a staggering portraitist and mum painting when she can. To the extreme end where I imagine the famous and successful artists sit… those who seclude themselves most of the time and do do “whatever is necessary”.

-          Can I really make some choices that ensure I can sustain a creative life?

-          Will the time and space that I carve out, ever be enough for me?

So I have a list (we like lists don’t we) of things which I will do and won’t do, to achieve and sustain my creative life:

-          I won’t spend time watching ”mind numbing, spirit crushing TV” I’ll just watch one or two programmes a week that are really funny, nurturing or interesting

-          I won’t wait until my kids are in bed and asleep before I go into the studio – I’ll make a start before.

-          I’ll be more like my husband. He has his hobbies, he books stuff and just goes and does it.

-          I’ll find another studio space before my youngest figures out that she has the box room, so I can have the big spare room as a studio. I won’t sabotage my creative life, by just giving up my space without a plan!

-          I know that having some deadlines and reasons for creating help…I’ll makes some

-          I will consciously keep stocks of ready meals and easy food in the house.  The stress is just not worth it!

-          I’ll always have something in the diary carved out for me to create, whether it’s a day marked off in the diary or signing up to a drawing day….just something

Not quite the life that Van Gogh led is it! but I have at least had 3 more years of life so far, than he had. I have food, warmth and a lovely (if not longsuffering family) and I will do what is needed to continue to create somehow……

Acrylic on Paper 420mm x 720mm Click to buy a print

I read someone’s comment on a blog page recently. The blog was about creativity and sustainable wellbeing. At my point of viewing, there was a blog comment  on the top of the list and it said something along these lines:

“ people, especially creatives, need to learn how to grief the loss of possibilities, the loss of ideas. You just can’t action all the ideas and possibilities you develop in your heart and mind. You have to learn  how to grieve in a whole new way”

I wonder whether a key skill for wellbeing for people who are creative should be an understanding of this and to be taught how to understand this, accept, make choices and grieve.  But of course, this idea is not sexy and won’t get very far in our world of “go-getters” and “relaxed but positive peeps”.  We are teaching our artists to become business people which is so necessary, but what about those skills which don’t fit in either classical creative studies or business studies?  If you know of a Fine Art programme which offers “How to deal with grief and loss”, I would be fascinated to hear about it.

Today I have a whole day, which I have managed to carve out for “creative” activities. Not necessarily creating, but something related to my creative projects.  Please be aware that a whole day for a mother who works from home amounts to about 4 ½ hours, a half day in others world.  Having needed to sit down and write about this has reduced my  “day” to 4 hours.  The pressure is mounting and if I don’t get going, I will earn the right to beat myself up further…

So with 4 hours up for grabs, my projects are all screaming at me. “Choose me” “Hey remember me” “Oi I am a brilliant idea” “Jen you’ll regret not doing me” “You haven’t got many years left girl” (haha)

OMG  did you know that paintings could shout?

So taking some advice from Jill Bad KMCC, I have started to write my competing creative projects, down on index cards (the mere recording of them will take weeks alone!) I will then let them “audition” for me…yes the ideas get to compete for their right to be worked on by me.  I will notice which ones provoke an immediate “yes” in my body…and then just like Richard is doing on BeYourOwnBoss (#notbitterreally), I will narrow it down to 3 and then to 1.

I may not have to mourn as much as I think. Perhaps one day those others will get a crack at the whip. Perhaps one day I might be able to spend most of my days creating and writing.  Some day, one day, maybe.

“Slow Flow” Acrylic on Board 410 x 530 inches. Click to buy a print

they are just reasons!). “ I have been so busy you know” “Its been the school holidays” “I’m blocked” “I have to do really important business things” “I am so tired in the evenings” “I don’t get time in the mornings” “Once I am into my work during the day, I don’t want to break the flow” “If I do get spare time, I want to spend it painting (but I don’t)” OK enough said. It’s just not been happening.

It is a problem as I need to write a lot in my business. There are blogs to write, content to deliver, letters and releases to be written and manuals and materials…that’s a lot of material! So this is huge problem. So huge it has been placing me under greater pressure which of course makes it worse.

There are many common things which hinder the creative process:

-        Perfectionism

-        Overwhelm

-        Managing loss (yep that’s a new one)

Perfectionism: I am a recovering perfectionist. I don’t like it, it still doesn’t feel comfortable to let things go which are less than perfect, but if you want to produce more than one page of writing a year, you gotta let it go. You have to accept that the costs for less than perfect, maybe the occasional screw up, or misunderstanding. That does not feel comfortable, but the alternative is procrastination, lack of productivity and stifled creativity. I choose imperfection.

Overwelm: well, where do I start with that one. Having had the summer “off” with my children, it feels like a mammoth task to pick up the millions of work balls, which I gently placed on the floor in July. (Yes, millions, because that’s what overwhelm makes you feel like!)  and I can’t remember where all the balls are and what I am meant to be doing with them all. Just pick one ball up Jen, one that you like the look of, not one which feels too heavy or dull.  Throw it around  and remember what it feels.  And just juggle that ball, on its own for a couple of days. Write just a couple of lines, not the whole hog.

Managing loss: coping with the grief of lost ideas and opportunities.  Bear with me on this one. As a creative person, both painty creative and thinky creative, you get a lot of ideas and see a lot of opportunities.  You just can’t make them all happen, well certainly not at once, and usually not in the scale you can imagine in your mind!

There is loss. You look back and think “where did that glorious idea go?” “What happened to that idea for a painting?” “What about all those blog ideas” “What came from that exciting meeting you had?” It is like a grieving process, it’s a loss, is very difficult to explain to others,  and can really dull your energy.   This may seem really daft to many people, but I have had to learn new ways of dealing with this, ways of reframing and letting go that aren’t that common place.  I have realised that one of my ways of dealing with this, is to support others to grasp and bring their ideas into fruition…. that’s why I coach people and especially love helping creative people move into action.

So today, I choose the plunger approach. Plunging myself in at the deep end.  I have left the distractions of email at home, chosen a café without WIFI (…trust me this is a must). I did some “planning” and mind mapping on paper, realised I was still procrastinating and loving told myself so.  Opening the lap top. Ranting a bit can help move the blocked stuff.  If what you planned to write about doesn’t happen easily, pick something else. ( NB I don’t always use the plunger, sometimes a gentler approach is required)

JEN

For some help unblocking yourself download our helpful Glue for Unsticking yourself guide here.

Well if I only have 300 words I have to choose them very carefully.

Discovery Party is very different to other life coaching. It’s a fun, relaxed, experience that you have with your friends or perhaps your team at work. It’s a bit like having a night in with a bottle or two of wine, but with some structure and a different purpose. We play some games and fun activities to help you look at what you love about your life but also what you may want different. You get to find out how coaching and personal development help people and we introduce you to some techniques which can really help.  It’s not a “sit and sob”. It’s a positive, easy going get together, which takes all the best from modern self help techniques and puts it into an easily understandable format that everyone can benefit from.

It’s different from other life coaching because you can experience it and gain the benefits without having to pay for individual coaching which can be costly. At Discovery Party we believe that coaching is for everyone and not just for rich people or those with high flying jobs or businesses. You also get access to resources after the party which help you continue your coaching experience and get further support with plans or goals you decide to make.

Some coaching is all about setting big goals, working harder and seems to put people under a lot of pressure. At Discovery Party, we believe that there is enough stress and pressure in the world and we aim to help people make changes, without making it worse!

It’s also different from other life coaching, because we also aim to teach you to coach yourself so you can support yourself, your friends and loved ones.  Coming together with friends or colleagues in this way also reminds us of how important our friends and local community are, especially in the busy, modern life we have these days.

I should start with explaining why I sometimes turn my paintings on their head.  I sometimes do it to make nice dribbles that travel upwards but soon find that if I carry on painting with the whole thing the wrong way up, I can paint in a freeer, looser way and I am always more pleased with the results. I have realised that in doing this, I switch off my left brain a bit more. I switch off the bit of my brain that tries too hard to make something turn out “what it should look like”. I also seems to see new ways of doing this, new colours that might work, or make compositional changes that work better.

In other areas I also seem to often do things the wrong way round, deliberately.  Articles or pieces of written work are another good example.  Starting with the end, and working from the end or the middle outwards allows for things to flow a bit better. Often I will write odd bits here and there and just join them up at the end. That works as well.  Often I know how I want it to turn out in the end, but I can’t figure out how to get there and if I spend too much time worrying about the how, I never start or I start and quickly loose the will to live.

Creativity is non linear – it doesn’t happen easily in a straightforward way. When I “got” this, things became a lot easier. I imagine that some types of processes like technical drawing or some watercolour techniques (something I will never be able to do) are very linear, but this is not the sort of creativity I am talking out. These are techniques we use to achieve “something”, an outcome. It’s creating the “something” that I am talking about. Not just in painting or craft, but creativity in our daily lives, how we approach problems, come up with ideas etc.

The thing about working upside down, is that you let go of the technical, left brain stuff which urges you to do it in a certain way. Doing it upside down means you get a very different perspective, one which often leads you to new ideas and triggers interesting creative detours.

You can achieve a similar approach by drawing with your left hand (if right handed normally) Betty Edwards used this approach in her classic, “Drawing on the right side of the brain” (but its a bit tricky writing articles with your other hand, so working back to front is a better way). I coached a lady recently who suddenly said “I know what I need to do now! I need to write the book backwards, starting with the ending, as I know what that is!)

Here’s another way you can use this:

If you are trying to complete something or draw something or make something (icing a cupcake springs to mind) but keep making the same mistake or keep doing it wrong over and over. Turn it upside down, inside out, swop hands, close your eyes even, just something which helps you to switch of the pattern you have created in your brain, which means you keep repeating the same mistake.

One of my favourite coaching questions, when people are trying to generate ideas or different ways forward, is to ask:

“If you turn this on its head, what new options could you create?” OR

“If we turned this on its head, what new perspectives might be seen?”

This seems to give people permission to look at things differently and let go of the “right” way of doing things and detach from their current approach which might not be serving them well.  It also assumes that there are lots of other ways of doing things, which makes you have to seek out some new options. Such a great question.

But “turning it on its head” can be helpful for many stuck situations, not just painting, writing and creating stuff. At home, if you have a decorating project which is not moving forward quickly enough, ask yourself those questions and see what comes up. Or maybe you have a difficult task or project at work that could do with some fresh thinking.  Turn it on its head.

Oh and if the item is too big, you could always do a hand stand!

Enjoy.

Text on Toast - on quitting brownies

Do you ever get the feeling that we interfere, force things and try and control a bit too much. I do. I have been desperate to find a name or identify for a new product for 3 months now.  My house is littered with mind maps, sticky notes and I am getting quite grumpy about it all.  It seems so important to get it right.  Everything seems to hinge on it; the business, the branding, the whole success of it all.  Gosh what a lot of pressure! But somewhere, deep down, I know that it I let go, relax and not be so serious about it all, it will become clear.

I often have the same feeling about my kids growing up.  Getting it right seems so important..well they won’t have a good life unless I get it right!  Well wrong.  We are living in an age of such high expectations, huge pressure to get it all right…the beautiful home, the great figure, the well turned out children, the interesting job.

With my children, I have been practising not get too involved in how they grow up! That seems strange does it….surely that’s what parenting about. You provide and control their growing up experience. What disasters might unfold if we don’t….ahhh.  A great example is my eldest daughter who just doesn’t seem to want to do any outside school activities. She does a couple of weeks of an activity or club then decides she doesn’t want to do it any more and quits.  I feel a real failure. Her peers are all playing an instrument, passing ballet exams, riding horses etc not to mention the extra tuition for maths!  Surely this is my fault…surely she won’t have a well rounded, varied life diet if she doesn’t do “clubs”. But how I can complain? I never stuck to a club or hobby, except craft, which I  did at home. I did Brownies for about 1 term, gymnastics for 3 weeks and athletics once! I turned down the chance to learn to play an instrument and left ballroom dancing lessons because I wasn’t allowed the big, pretty dresses.

One of my favourite books is “How to be Free” by Tom Hodgkinson (he also wrote “The Idle Parent: why laid back parents raise happier and healthier kids” but I haven’t read it!)

He advocates a much less hands off approach…not one that is irresponsible, but one in which we get out of our children’s way a little and stop trying so hard.

This resonated with me as I know my parents gave me a lovely upbringing, on very little money, with lots of camping trips, lots of love and they did the very best they could…but I still grew up with the usual gripes about my life…”if my parents had made me go to art college or university, my life would have been better” “if they had stopped me going out with my husband from 16, my life would have been so much better” “why didn’t my parents make me stick at things?”   Oh my poor parents…the things that I blamed them for – it is so easy to blame someone else for our own decisions.  Self responsibility is hard lesson to learn…and I seem to keep having to learn it over and over again.

As I have finally come to see myself for what I am, and deeply acknowledged that my folks let me emerge and find my own way in life, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am happy with me.  I have a good career, a good range of hobbies and interests (I am kind of well rounded although I prefer to think of myself as diverse and random).

So what does that mean for me as a parent? What have I learned about life and my role in letting my girls, 7 and 11, grow up to be themselves…not my version of themselves? They are growing up in a very competitive, perfectionist, competency driven world.  One which tries to shape and mould you at every corner. There is little room for creative play, making mistakes, following an easy path in life.

I have found that if I try too hard, answer letters and emails and queries too quickly, I get very stressed…obvious really, but many times I have found that if I leave things alone, they tend to work themselves out, without me expending excessive time and effort (which I would rather save for making cakes, painting or watching comedy)

Let go a little. Trust that the dots will join up.

Look back at your life. Can you see that things had a habit of just working out.  Solutions and ideas emerge from unexpected places.  Sometimes focussing on the problems and trying too hard just makes the problem feel worse. The world doesn’t stop. The days come and go and the seasons pass.

I don’t think that a hand sewn butterfly costume for the school play is essential.

I think that this time, I will buy cakes for the school cake sale not always make them – no one will die if I don’t.

This time, I won’t agree with the playground mums moaning about the academic standards of the reception class…it won’t affect their A levels and university entrance as they are only 4 years old.

I know my eldest is not great at maths now, but she is good at other things and stressing her out about it isn’t a helpful thing to grow up with.

I know that they will both grow up being human beings, with successes and challenges like we all have and probably we overestimate how much we can control that. Good, laid back parenting – yes. Over stressing and controlling – no.

-          I am not slim enough so I berate myself for my lack of food and exercise related discipline (let it be know that self flagellation does not help you lose weight)

-          I am not pretty enough; endless appointments for taming unruly hair, various forms of hair removal (painless I am told, which is a big fat lie), make up experimentation, which at nearly 40, I should have sussed by now. These all add to my To Do list

-          I am not cleaver enough – just ask my accountant 1) because she knows how I just don’t get the simplest of book-keeping principles and 2) she has evidence of all the courses, workshops and training I attend each year in an attempt to feel more cleaver. Again these all add many more things to my To Do list!

Are you getting the general picture now? ( I can keep going for quite sometime but know how busy you are).

So if you look at my diary and my working day, I could confidently say that 40% is made up of things I do because I just don’t feel “enough”. Right now I’ll acknowledge that the underlying feeling of “lack” or “there must be something more” has driven human behaviour and development for millennia and without it we wouldn’t have some of the advances that we have now got. But right now, in the 21^st centuary, I, well those in the middle England, Western economy have got quite enough I wouland have had for some time. We have enough food, shelter, warmth, clothes, opportunity, security etc, yet it is right here, that the “I am not enough” epidemic is rife.  I am well and truly part of this tribal thinking, which is leading us to do more, buy more, want more and have more, for us and our children (cos obviously they haven’t got enough either!)

What would my life, or yours look like if we believed we were enough? (or at least believed it a little bit more)

Well I think I would start appreciating what I have, much more and see the good things when I look around my home of an evening. Instead of looking at the large, messy, pile of toys and feel annoyed, I could think:

-          I am so lucky to have kids, many people don’t

-          We are so lucky to have relatives that buy our children lovely toys

-          I am lucky that I have been too busy enjoying my day, to find time to tidy up (I really like that one)

-          I would think twice before buying any more toys – we really do have enough

What else might happen if I felt “enough” in my professional and work life?

-          I might book less courses and training, saving time, money and effort!

-          I wouldn’t feel the need to volunteer for things so much

-          I would book less networking meetings or at least be a little more selective

-          I would spend less on Amazon each month

Over all I would be better off in both money and time!

This all shifts things.

Not immediately.

Not totally.

Maybe I am enough…ish.

I don’t think I’ll ever believe completely that I am enough. I have realised that just aiming for maybe 5% more or 10% more is good enough – it makes it easier and ensures that I don’t beat myself up too much!

I have my coach Jo Birch to thank for helping with this (Jo has just gone to Mongolia for 9 months and if you are interested you can check out her blog here)

Jo recommended a Ted Talk by Brene Brown which is fantastic and if you only give yourself 20 minutes this week, watch it.   Brene asks us to have the courage to be imperfect, compassion to be kind to ourselves and  fully embrace our vulnerability – what makes us vulnerable makes us beautiful. This video has been viewed 3 million times. Don’t under estimate how important it is.

So maybe join me in practicing feeling just 5 or 10% enough. Maybe take a look at how you spend your time, energy and money and see if too much of it stems from not feeling enough.

Be kind to yourself.

Let go of the need for perfection – life will get a lot easier.

1)   I realise that my diary is full of stuff and I’m not sure why

2)   I’m not getting any exercise or painting time

3)   I try and book a weekend trip or to see friends and I have to reach   for next year’s diary

4)   I can’t get into my study as there is too much stuff piling up

5)   My email inbox is rammed and takes me an hour before I get round to doing real work rather than just deleting stuff and replying to emails

6)   I wake up feeling like I am already on the treadmill

Its great that I actually notice these “symptoms” and decide to take steps to remedy the overload, but what I actually do, sometimes makes it worse. Some people just can’t see that they are overcomplicating things. My closest friend is a great example. Last year in an attempt to have a better, more simple diary system, she actually bought 3 identical diaries, all for different aspects of her life and run them together…it was an unmitigated disaster, but gave us all something to laugh about!

So, what follows are my favourite and time honoured attempts at simplifying my life, once I realise its all getting a bit out of hand.

Emails: I trawel through my inbox, After deleting and unsubscribing to millions of newsletters and emails, it still seems to take just as long to manage my email and I then start to sign up for things as my inner voice says “its ok, you’ve just dumped lots of things, so you can sign up for new ones” the problem with that is that getting something new and fresh in my inbox actually takes up more time and the cleaver copyrighting means that I invariably visit their lovely website and possibly buying something or signing up for a workshop, ecourse or webinar…ahhhh I am actually making it more complicated in my desire for simplicity.

My next trick is to cancel stuff, real diary dates. Try and keep my diary a bit clearer. Usually the life enhancing events go first – the exercise class and social date with friends. After a few weeks, I feel denied and start booking in lots of things again. You can tell I have been down this road before, many times.

The problem with making space and clearing stuff out, is that it leaves space for something else to fill it. Its just like money, if you get a raise, you start living to that financial space you have, if you earn less, you live to that.  If you live in small house, yearn for more space and move to a 4 bed detached house (yawn) you’ll find after a few years that you have filled up the space and need more.  This is normal human behaviour.

I remember when the M25 was built, everyone thought it was the answer to traffic problems but after a couple of years, we’d filled that up as well – all 117 miles of it.

Here’s another great way that simplifying things creates complexity. My bank offered me a paid bank account and you get lots of perks with it like phone insurance, breakdown recovery etc.  It seemed like a good idea, I wouldn’t have to buy separate breakdown cover and if my new appliance broke down it would be covered..(.wah hey I am a complete  domestically enhanced goddess)

So after going into my bank, setting up a new bank payment and producing the details and items they wanted (3 extras jobs already) I had another 9 jobs to do including registering my family mobile phones, 3 of them (this task involves asking all the family members, finding the IMEI number of each of them, finding the model number and writing all the numbers down and then ringing to register them) so that’s about another 9 tasks from one of the task.

Even if the other perks are easier to arrange, and I doubt it as one of them was a free will writing service which would have sucked me dry to sort out, I still end up with about 60 new tasks to do………………not bad eh… I am simplification goddesss NOT.

And don’t even think about trying to simplify your finances by changing mortgage company or electricity supplier, that’s just a massive can of worms.

So what is the secret to simplifying your life…or is there one?

Well here’s my take on it:

• Let go of the need for simplicity in the first place. Human beings are complex, messy and unpredictable. Striving for perfection just leads us to disappointment, very quickly. Love your messy bits.
• Remember that every action we take (even with the intention of simplifying things) has an opposite and equal reaction – Isaac Newton, basic physics. Translated: we don’t live in a vacuum and even decluttering a room means a trip to tip, charity shop, ebaying things and various other new jobs-to-do.  Don’t feel frustrated about it, just understand it better.
• Consider the plans you make to simplify things, very, very carefully
• Why not take time to consider all the things you say yes to in the first place. Having a default “no, but I’ll think about it”, will over time mean you will only invite things into your life which enhance rather than fill up and complicate.
• Use pencil rather than pen in your diary…it makes it easier to change your mind
• Notice whether you feel less stressed and more happy after you have made big blank spaces in your diary or declutter other areas. If not, you will start filling them up with something – just choose stuff that enhances your life
• Know that you are enough. Usually it’s our own feelings of lack that make us buy more, do more and want more. You are enough.
  

  Simplicity on toast

• Make bread. It reminds us that we need very little in our life really (and after a bit of practice, it tastes really good)

I spend a lot of time pondering and debating what makes people “creative”. I consider myself to be creative, in both practice as a visual artist and as a creative thinker and tinkerer (always so many projects on the go!). I remember saying to my old boss, that creative genius is available to everyone – he disagreed strongly (we disagreed about many things). People talk about nurturing your creative side or taping into your inner muse. Jill Badonsky has a great book about muses which has inspired me greatly, but over this year, I have also become acquainted with the idea of the Genie.

You may know about my foldable, self-help, pocket coach , origami, thingymajig that I eventually called the Genie (click here to take a look and if you want one, send me a SAE and I will send you a prototype). I spent months trying to think of a name and explored Japanese words, including the word for “Vision” which translates as “gen’ei”. At I wrote this one my mind-map, alongside over 60 other possible names, it became obvious that that this word was similar to the word genie.

I decided on Genie, it fitted on so many levels: it helps you grant yourself wishes, it opens to reveal inner wisdom. Only days later my best friend Maggie (aka mum) sent me to a TED talk link by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. I read this lovely book in the spring, it too goes down as one of this years highlights, so watching her TED talk was a joy.

About half way through, she starting talking about how ancient civilisations felt that people weren’t creative geniuses themselves but genius exists as a spirit, living in the environment, like the home. People weren’t “geniuses” but they had a genius, or genie.

Here’s what Wiki has to say about the origin of the word genius:“… the guiding spirit or tutelary, deity of a person, family, or place. The noun is related to the Latin verb gigno, genui, genitus, “to bring into being, create, produce.” (Wikipedia accessed 16/12/11)

OOOh I was listening now, big time. Elizabeth said that artists could call on help, inspiration and ideas from the genie of the space they were in. She goes on to describe how a poet described “catching a poem by the tail as it flew past”. This poet would have to run to her house to grab a pen and capture the poem, otherwise the poem would move on and look for another poet. (I caught my first poem in the car park the other day)

The more I thought about it, I really related to this. I sometimes feel that being on a train I get loads of ideas, its as if they are flying past…very fast due to being on a train. It feels like I am travelling through a quick, quantum soup of ideas, all waiting to find a person to manifest them. I often arrive home with pages of scribbled notes – most of which never see the light of day, many of which I can’t read.  Often when driving, I have to stop and scribble every 1/4 mile lest I forget the ideas and words coming to me.   Many of you will recognise those times when taking a shower often seems to allow new ideas or insights.

Thinking of genius living outside of us, frees us up from the worry about constantly creating or coming up with new ideas and it gives us many tools and ways to access our creativity.

What do you think? How do see genius in yourself or others?
So how do you summon your genie, your genius?
How do you let your genie out of the bottle?

How do you show up for your part of the deal, so the genie can do their part?
I’d love to know. Drop me a line.
And maybe next time I will share the poem I caught in the car par